Ep. 1.7: Corn, Magoo, & Pudding (ft. Sachi Ezura) 

Transcription by Colette Arrand. Hire her if you need things transcribed!

Mary Phillips-Sandy: It is a chilly day in New York, the trains are a shit show.

Sachi Ezura: Yeah.

Mary: The world is definitely in a weird state right now.

Sachi: Very much so.

Mary: So I’m glad that we’re kind of locked in this very padded, soundproof room, and I don’t know, do you want to talk about cats?

Sachi: Very much so.

Mary: Let’s talk about cats.

Sachi: Always, always.

Mary: Let’s do it! Let’s talk about cats!

[UPBEAT, SLIGHTLY FRANTIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC: Let’s talk about cats! Let’s talk about cats!]

Mary: Hey, it’s another episode of Let’s Talk About Cats. I’m noted cat lady Mary Phillips-Sandy, my cat, of course, is Grendel. And today I’m here with Sachi Ezura, a comedian, performer, writer, host, lady about town. The town is New York. And we know so many people in common, and everybody, when I was starting this show—everybody was like, you’ve got to talk to Sachi. So you were actually one of the first names on the list.

Sachi: That’s simultaneously flattering and terrifying.

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: I have a lot of cat clothing, and I think that that tips everybody off.

Mary: See, that’s it. Then you’re out in the world and people know. And for people who don’t know but should know, Sachi, you worked on Guy Code and Girl Code.

Sachi: That’s right.

Mary: And now After After Party with Sonia Denis, which I really enjoy.

Sachi: Oh, thank you.

Mary: It’s on Facebook. I fucking hate Facebook.

Sachi: Sure.

Mary: But I go on it to watch the show.

Sachi: Yeah, no, it’s a weird time to be working for Facebook, but yes.

Mary: It’s a weird time to be working in media. Let’s just say that.

Sachi: Yeah, very much so, yes.

Mary: You know what, it’s a weird time to be working.

Sachi: [Laughter.]

Mary: But you know what? More importantly, you are the companion of two amazingly beautiful cats.

Sachi: Oh, thank you.

Mary: Magoo and Pudding.

Sachi: That’s right.

Mary: I love them so much, and we are going to talk about them so much.

Sachi: Great.

Mary: But the first thing that we need to do, Sachi, we need you to describe each of your cats in just five words.

Sachi: Okay.

Mary: And you can do five words for both or five words for each, since you have two cats.

Sachi: Yes, well they’re very different.

Mary: Okay.

Sachi: So, okay. Magoo: Old soul, writhing, snake-like, needy.

Mary: Wow. I love how often I relate to the cats. Yeah.

Sachi: Pudding is: Maniac, tiny, orange, energetic, and playful.

Mary: Wow, a great dichotomy of cats.

Sachi: Yeah, they’re very different.

Mary: Um, speaking of things that are different, it’s time for a different segment.

[UPTEMPO, GUITAR DRIVEN ROCK MUSIC WITH FEMALE VOCALS]

Mary: It’s time for our Cat Quiz. Today’s Cat Quiz is custom for you, and I think you’re going to do really well.

Sachi: Oh, okay!

Mary: There is a prize. It is not timed, but you can’t screw around. You’ve got to say an answer, get it out, don’t take forever, okay?

Sachi: Okay, okay.

Mary: So today’s quiz: How much do you know about cats in scripted television comedy since 2013?

Sachi: Okay.

Mary: You ready?

Sachi: Yeah.

[CAT QUIZ MUSIC: FAST DRUMS AND RUMBLING PURR SOUNDS.]

Mary: Question number one: America’s Funniest Cats is not a real show, unfortunately. It’s a 2016 SNL sketch in which two dour French ladies—played by Cecily Strong and Kate McKinnon—run a light-hearted clip show with their existential commentary. Who played the host of America’s Funniest Cats on SNL?

Sachi: Is it Anne Hathaway?

Mary: Oh, so close! It was actually very close. It was Adam Driver. Alright, number two: On Bojack Horseman, Amy Sedaris voices Princes Caroline—

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: A hard-working career cat.

Sachi: I relate to that character, yeah.

Mary: As do we all. But Amy is not a cat owner herself. In fact, she is known for having what kind of pet?

Sachi: A rabbit.

Mary: That’s right, Sachi! Alright!

Sachi: Yay!

Mary: One for two. Okay. In a season four episode of Broad City, Abbi gets very high on shrooms and pot, and then accidentally kills her boss Dara’s cat.

Sachi: Oh.

Mary: What is the deceased feline’s name?

Sachi: Oh, I have no idea.

Mary: I’ll give you a clue.

Sachi: Okay.

Mary: Her boss Dara is played by the wonderful Wanda Sykes.

Sachi: Oh, is it Wanda?

Mary: No, it’s Amanda! I’m so sorry!

Sachi: It rhymes!

Mary: It does rhyme. Years before they made a comedy action film about a quest for a stolen kitten, which comedy duo made a sketch about a police interrogation that goes off the rails when the suspect gets distracted by an inspirational cat poster?

Sachi: Oh that’s Key and Peele.

Mary: That is Key and Peele. And the sketch is called, for extra credit?

Sachi: Oh, no idea.

Mary: It’s called Cat Poster! Okay, last question. Are you ready?

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: All comes down to this: In 2016, and then again in 2017, the internet was shaken to its very core by news from New Jersey—people discovered cats who looked exactly like which actor who voiced Art the Artist on a two episode arc of Bob’s Burgers?

Sachi: Was it Nick Offerman?

Mary: Oh, again, incredibly close! I’m so sorry. It was Adam Driver!

Sachi: It was Adam Driver again! Because I have seen cats that look like Nick Offerman.

[Cat Quiz music stops.]

Mary: Sachi Ezura, you got one right, four wrong.

Sachi: I got two right!

Mary: Sorry! Two right, three wrong. You win the prize!

Sachi: Adam Driver!

Mary: Tell people what I just handed you.

Sachi: Okay, it’s a framed photo of Adam Driver, and it says “Best Cat Ever, Meow!” My husband is going to find this very confusing.

Mary: Will he? I feel like it speaks for itself.

Sachi: Thank you so much. I can’t believe I won with only 40%.

Mary: Here at Let’s Talk About Cats, we believe that showing up deserves something.

Sachi: Sure.

Mary: That’s our motto. [Laughter.]

Sachi: Listen, cats don’t do very much and yet they get a lot of praise, so.

Mary: I like that, yes. Exactly.

[FAST ROCKING AWESOME GUITAR MUSIC]

Mary: Now we’re going to move on to our Hot Topic Debate, and today the topic is cat code. Is there a cat code? Should there be a cat code? A set of rules by which people and cats should abide by in their relations with each other.

Sachi: Mm-hmm.

Mary: I appreciated your work on Girl Code, as we discussed.

Sachi: Thank you.

Mary: You also co-wrote the Girl Code book.

Sachi: That’s true, yeah.

Mary: Which is very amusing. But it also has some real nuggets of wisdom in it. So what I want to know is, is there a cat code? And I’ll give you some examples that I thought of. For example, in my household, we have a rule: If the cat is on the bed, you do not make the bed.

Sachi: Okay.

Mary: An unmade bed triggers my brain in a bad way. I need to make the bed.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: It makes me upset if I leave the house without the bed made, but if the cat is on the bed, you know what? I don’t touch it. I walk away. Cat code. Right?

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: Likewise, if the shirt I want to wear is on the bed or the chair, and the cat is on the shirt, I pick a new outfit.

Sachi: That’s very nice of you. I have no qualms making my cat get up.

Mary: Wow. Okay, talk to me about this. You break cat code? Or is that your own cat code?

Sachi: I, to me—that’s not my cat code, because I feel like my cat has all day to sit wherever he and she want, and they will be disturbed and then just go right back to it. It will be happy five minutes later and have no memory that I did that.

Mary: So you have healthy boundaries with your cats is what you’re saying?

Sachi: I don’t know about healthy boundaries. My cat did pee on me a couple weeks ago.

Mary: That’s not very healthy. [Laughter.]

Sachi: I didn’t like it, but it still happened.

Mary: Do your cats have a cat code among each other?

Sachi: It’s weird, because I don’t know if anybody has ever lost a cat and then gotten a new cat, and there’s an existing cat. But for us, Magoo has been in our house for seven years, and now there’s this new little kitten, and he has no respect for Magoo.

Mary: Maybe Magoo needs to implement cat code.

Sachi: I think so, yeah. I mean, Magoo’s cat code is hissing and making it clear that like, she’s the alpha, she’s in charge.

Mary: Yes. I will say, the other key part of my cat code is that on a date or first meeting, I let the cat come to me.

Sachi: Uh-huh.

Mary: Even though I want very much to interact with the cat.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: I was at a friend’s house recently. One of them came right over, you know? Wanted to say hi. The other one was a little standoffish.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: And I had to stop myself and think no, cat code. You let the cat decide.

Sachi: Sure.

Mary: And it may decide, you know what, fuck you? I don’t want to interact with you. And that’s up to the cat.

Sachi: Yeah. Well, I grew up very scared of cats. I know my cats, and I know my cats like people.

Mary: Right.

Sachi: But I also know that there are mean cats.

Mary: Yes.

Sachi: And so I still am like, I’m not going to touch your cat unless your cat seems like a people cat.

Mary: I think that is actually perhaps the takeaway from this is that you have to let the cat lead the way.

Sachi: Yeah, 100%.

Mary: Maybe that is really the core of cat code.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: Consent. It all comes down to consent!

Sachi: Yeah! Come on, 2018.

Mary: That’s it! And 2019, let’s face it.

Sachi: Let’s make every year the year of consent from now on.

Mary: I like that. So there you have it. Consent. That’s the key to cat code, and people code.

[TRIUMPHANT GUITAR FLOURISH]                    

Mary: And now it is time, Sachi, my favorite part of the show—actually all the parts of my show are my favorite parts of the show.

Sachi: [Laughter.]

Mary: It’s not a very long show. It’s just all really enjoyable for me, personally. I don’t know about anyone else. Let’s talk about your cats.

Sachi: Mm-hmm.

Mary: I know you grew up in New York.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: In the city?

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: In the city, alright. Where in the city?

Sachi: Upper West Side.

Mary: Upper West Side. Hey, that’s where my mom grew up.

Sachi: Oh, okay!

Mary: She’s much older than you are. Don’t worry about it. Um, did you grow up with cats? You were scared of them, so what happened? Tell me.

Sachi: Yeah. So my mom got a cat when she was in college.

Mary: Okay.

Sachi: And then she had me when she was 23.

Mary: Okay.

Sachi: And so this cat was still around. And I was on her lap and in her arms, obviously, as a baby. And this cat was not happy about it.

Mary: Okay.

Sachi: So I kind of became this like, antagonist in our house to this cat.

Mary: [Gasps.]

Sachi: That I was the replacement, and I don’t think the cat ever liked me.

Mary: Whoa.

Sachi: Um, and her name was Suki and my mom was very close to her, but then when I was like 15, we got a dog, and I was like, cats are so dumb! Dogs are the best! I can’t believe I thought that a cat was a good pet! That cat passed away, and then my mom got a second dog, and now these dogs are like her whole life and she loves them very much. But when I met my husband, he came from a family of cats, and his cats were—

Mary: He came from a family of cats? He’s descended from a long line.

Sachi: Yes, yes, yes. He was raised by a cat.

Mary: Yes, okay.

Sachi: No, he came from a family that had three cats, and his sister is a vet tech.

Mary: There you go.

Sachi: So there were always cats coming in and out of their house. And they were just such lovely cats, and I just met a couple of cats that I really liked. I had a boss I cat sat for, and she had two really lovely cats. My best friend from college had a really lovely cat, and I was like, oh maybe not all cats, right? #notallcats.

Mary: Yes.

Sachi: That like, this one cat Suki just might have had a problem with me.

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: And there are some mean cats. And I started to equate dogs with men and cats with women more, which I think a lot of people do.

Mary: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Sachi: And I started to feel like, liking cats is a feminist issue.

Mary: That’s fascinating given that it was your husband who introduced you to cats, yes. Okay.

Sachi: Oh, sure, sure, sure. But he comes from, you know, not only a family of cats, but a family of very strong women.

Mary: Yes.

Sachi: And I just started to feel like maybe we, as a society, are scared of cats and think cats are going to be mean to us in the same way that we’re afraid of women, and afraid women are going to be mean to us.

Mary: Oh yeah! For sure!

Sachi: Because we, as a society, are not so nice to them.

Mary: Yes.

Sachi: And that like me being gentle and looking for consent and wanting, like, to reach out and assume the best in cats is like a feminist way of life.

Mary: Interesting.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: I like that.

Sachi: So then, I thought I was allergic to cats, too, because I’m allergic to everything. So my husband was like, let’s just foster. We’ll just foster a cat and we’ll see if we like it.

Mary: [Laughter.] That’s a slippery slope.

Sachi: A very slippery slope. Not only that, but we went to like a street fair that had a cat event.

Mary: Oh, that’s a, yeah—

Sachi: They were like, can you take two?

Mary: Sure, of course.

Sachi: Like, just take the two of them, if you don’t like one of them you can return it.

Mary: [Laughter.] Oh God!

Sachi: If you don’t like both of them you can return them both.

Mary: It’s like buy one get one free.

Sachi: Take them for three weeks. And of course we fell in love.

Mary: Of course. And that was Corn and Magoo.

Sachi: That was Corn and Magoo. So that was seven and a half years ago. For awhile, when I didn’t want a cat, and Jake kept insisting if we got a cat I would get to name it, I said, well, if I had a dog I would want to name it Corndog.

Mary: Oh, sure.

Sachi: So I liked Corncat. And what I didn’t realize was then that would trigger everybody to ask me whether it was Corn with a c or Korn with a K.

Mary: Oh no.

Sachi: Which I would never name a cat Korn with a K.

Mary: No, no.

Sachi: I’d like to meet that person who loves the band Korn and also loves to snuggle with a cat.

Mary: But like, to love the band so much that you just name the cat Korn and not name it after whatever the lead singer is, like Bill Korn or whatever the guy is?

Sachi: I’m assuming it’s Bill Korn.

Mary: It’s got to be Bill Korn.

Sachi: And then also she had a little black nose, like one of those black kernels of corn.

Mary: Like a little kernel of corn!!!

[FAST, DRIVING ROCK MUSIC]

Mary: I know Corn passed away this summer.

Sachi: Yes.

Mary: At seven and a half years, I know that must have been—

Sachi: Very young. Very young. Yeah, it was very sudden. I was at a show, I got off stage, I had like seven missed calls from my husband. And he is definitely a worrier. Sometimes he’ll call seven times and be like, the back door wasn’t locked! Are you sure that you locked- you know, like something inconsequential.

Mary: Yes, yes. That’s me. I do that, yes.

Sachi: So he was like, something is wrong with Corn. I don’t know, she’s meowing a lot. She didn’t get up to eat food, and she was always so excited about food. So that was a huge sign. So I got—I ran home, and she was limpy. As I mentioned, my sister-in-law is a vet tech, so we sent her a video and she was like, um, I think that maybe she sprained her hip or something, but bring her in tomorrow. We were very worried about her on the stairs, because she couldn’t walk on her back legs. And we like, barricaded it. And somehow I woke up and she was next to me.

Mary: She came to see you.

Sachi: She knew. She knew it was her last night.

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: So we went the next morning, and I thought she was coming home. That was the last time she saw her sister. And they just kept saying more bad news. Like just every hour on the hour. Maybe, you know, two months, three months she might have, how much money are we willing to spend to keep her alive?

Mary: Right, right.

Sachi: And I was like, if we can prolong her life, I would spend so much money.

Mary: Of course.

Sachi: It is an insane thought—

Mary: No, it’s not.

Sachi: To be like, you know what? I know we were thinking of buying a house, I know that we want to have a kid—let’s just throw money at the wall and keep our cat alive. But ultimately, my sister-in-law was like, I think you should just come and we should just put her to sleep. I don’t think she’s going to be happy. Honestly I really feel like it was the hardest day of my life. You know, had a great two hours with her, just holding her. And then I took her in my arms and we said goodbye to her. My friend had told me like, cut off a piece of her hair, and like that will make you feel like you still have a little piece of her. So we did that. It was awful. Awful, awful, awful. And then the one time I’ve ever been fired, and this day, were the only two times I’ve ever like, as an adult, been like, I deserve an ice cream sundae.

Mary: Yes, you do.

Sachi: So I went to get an ice cream sundae, and then we bought a bottle of whiskey that was made with corn and got very drunk, and then both of our bosses let us have the day off the next day, which is very nice.

Mary: Oh, that’s nice.

Sachi: And Jake was like, let’s just go get another cat. Which I thought was insane to go the next day.

Mary: Wait, right away?

Sachi: The next day.

Mary: The next day?

Sachi: But he was like, listen, even if we don’t—I’m such a like, I have such a hard time with decisions. He was like, I cannot imagine this is going to be a bad decision. I can’t think of a situation in which you’re going to be like, we shouldn’t have gotten a new cat immediately. Because it was such a distraction.

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: And I will say like, I don’t know if this is healthy—the last time I went through a serious break-up, I slept with someone the day after my break-up.

Mary: Sure.

Sachi: This felt exactly like that, where I was just like, you know what? I don’t care that this is maybe a bad idea. It is making me not think about it, and that’s all I need right now.

Mary: Right. Sometimes the rebound is just what you need, and sometimes it turns into something lasting.

Sachi: Honestly, just going to the shelters—we went to three different shelters. We held a bunch of cats and puppies. We thought about getting a dog. There were so many animals in need. We felt like we were helping someone.

Mary: Sure, well, you are.

Sachi: It was so therapeutic for me. And did not feel like I was hurting Corn’s legacy in any way. I felt like it was like—

Mary: No. Well, Corn would want you to be happy. Corn wants you to be happy.

Sachi: And would it have helped for Pudding to sit in a shelter for two more weeks while we grieved?

Mary: No.

Sachi: I don’t think so.

Mary: So how did you meet Pudding?

Sachi: The third shelter we went to, they were the only one that had a kitten by itself. Every place else was like, take two kittens. And we were like, we can’t have three cats in a New York City apartment. That’s insane. They were like, we want Pudding to be with another cat. Pudding had a brother named Tostitos.

Mary: Tostitos!

Sachi: Which is a corn product.

Mary: Corn chip! Oh my Gosh! It was meant to be.

Sachi: So they were like, Tostitos went with an owner that wanted just one kitten yesterday. We think Pudding should be with another cat. And Pudding was his name in the shelter.

Mary: Well I was just going to ask that.

Sachi: Yeah. And immediately my husband started calling him Puddy and singing Puddy related songs.

Mary: Pudding is a good cat name. It’s a really good cat name.

Sachi: And it’s like, [imitating Tweety from Looney Tunes] I tot I taw a puddy cat.

Mary: Sure.

Sachi: And I don’t know why, it just stuck.

Mary: So set the scene for me: You walk in with a kitten, Magoo is in the house.

Sachi: Mm-hmm.

Mary: The only cat for the first time ever in her life.

Sachi: And she was so confused.

Mary: So confused. You walk in—

Sachi: She, for the whole 24 hours that we didn’t have a second cat there, she was just wandering around meowing loudly, looking in closets and things.

Mary: Oh my God.

Sachi: And it destroyed me to not be able to explain to her. I mean, really I thought if I brought Corn home for one more night, I could explain to Magoo that this was their last night together.

Mary: Well I think, here’s the thing. I think Magoo at some level does understand.

Sachi: Yeah, now. Maybe now. But I think she was genuinely just like—

Mary: Sure.

Sachi: What did you do?

Mary: Right.

Sachi: Where is she?

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: So yeah, so the new kitten, I think to a grown cat, a kitten that’s not your own is akin to a mouse in the house or something.

Mary: They don’t recognize them as cats. Someone actually told me that, because their behaviors are not sufficiently cat-like yet.

Sachi: No.

Mary: So they’re just like, what is that creature?

Sachi: Yeah. And something is moving fast, and smells different, so this must be a rodent of some kind in the house.

Mary: Sure.

Sachi: So it just—gradually we had to introduce Pudding to Magoo. And now they’re like, they have a tolerance for each other.

Mary: A détente.

Sachi: Yeah. I think that they don’t—they don’t snuggle, but they don’t fight.

Mary: Hey! That’s something. Does Pudding in fact eat a lot of pudding?

Sachi: I’ve never tried to feed him pudding, although I did let Corn sniff an ear of corn just for the photo opportunity.

Mary: Right, well, you have to.

Sachi: But I don’t—and I do not really eat pudding, no. I like rice pudding.

Mary: I like rice pudding too. It’s a controversial pudding, to some.

Sachi: Yeah.

Mary: I also like tapioca pudding, which is even more controversial.

Sachi: I don’t think I’ve ever had it.

Mary: What?

Sachi: Yeah. And I do love bubble tea, which has tapioca in it. Yeah.

Mary: I was just going to say, it’s the sliminess of it. I love it. Which horrifies people. So I do think that perhaps as a special request, we should try to get a picture of Pudding with some pudding at some point on the internet.

Sachi: Okay, yeah.

Mary: We’ll link to it. I don’t know. If you have a cat named for a food product, it just seems—like I like to think that Tostitos, wherever he or she is—

Sachi: He, yeah.

Mary: Is on Instagram somewhere next to a bag of Tostitos.

Sachi: Oh I’m sure. I’m sure.

Mary: Or a bowl of salsa anyway.

Sachi: I hope they didn’t re-name Tostitos, because that’s a great name.

Mary: You couldn’t. you couldn’t. No one in their right mind would do that.

[ROCK GUITAR FLOURISH]

Mary: You host a show, a monthly show here in New York called What’s Your Damage. The thing that is great about that show, you have great performers, but also the premise of it is so beautifully simple. Much like the premise of this show, you ask people what is your damage.

Sachi: Yeah. Which comedians have a lot of.

Mary: I was going to say, there’s no shortage. If Magoo and Pudding were to come on the show, what would be their damage, what would their stories be?

Sachi: Oh my God. Magoo is very clearly damaged. I mean, as I described earlier, she is wraith-like. Like, just moves around like a snake, will not sit still. When we first got her, she used to suckle from my shirt.

Mary: I’m sorry?

Sachi: She used to like, take a tiny corner of a pillow or a tiny corner of my shirt and act like it was a cat’s nipple. And scratch, scratch, scratch like this, and suck, suck, suck. I have a video of it, it’s really gross.

Mary: Wow, that is one of the most disturbing things anyone has ever said on this show.

Sachi: Yay!

Mary: [Laughter.]

Sachi: So we think she must have been separated from her mom too young.

Mary: Poor baby.

Sachi: I really don’t understand why. She’s so needy. God. She just like wants to be near a human being all of the time.

Mary: Okay, that is damage. Pudding? Young, but you know, it can start early. It did for me.

Sachi: I don’t know that Pudding is damaged. I think that I don’t know whether it’s really different to have a boy cat from a girl cat, but I’m like, oh, I need to raise my son to be masculine but affectionate, you know?

Mary: Yeah.

Sachi: He is very energetic and he definitely farts in a way that I’ve never heard a girl cat fart.

Mary: Oh wow.

Sachi: So maybe his damage is that he’s a little stinky.

Mary: He’s stinky. Oh.

Sachi: Yeah, and he peed on me.

Mary: Oh, Pudding.

Sachi: Yeah. Well, he’s still learning. He’s a baby.

Mary: He’s still learning. Yeah. Well, failure to use a litter box can be damaging for everyone in the household.

Sachi: Ugh.

Mary: See, you’re totally ready to have children then.

Sachi: I guess so, yeah.

Mary: This is basically—they suckle and they pee on you, that’s it.

Sachi: That’s true. That’s true.

[AGGRESSIVE, HARD-DRIVING ROCK MUSIC]

Mary: I also wanted to ask you, we’re talking about After After Party, which I like because it actually does feel like a late night show, unlike so many shows that try to feel like a late night show. My question to you is, would either Magoo or Pudding be a good late night host?

Sachi: Um, I think that both of them would be a good late night guest, because they’re very unpredictable. Magoo is a really good host as a party host. She is very like, when we have a party, she greets everyone. She wants to meet everyone. So yeah, maybe she would be, but she would be an acerbic host. She would be like a Marc Maron on WTF.

Mary: Ohh, I like it.

Sachi: Yeah, she definitely is like, has a little bit of edge to her. Is a little saucy, you know? Maybe wants—is always talking about her own damage. So yeah, very Maron-esque.

Mary: Okay, yeah, yeah! Yeah, oh, that sounds great. Someone get this cat a show!

Sachi: Famous cat person, Marc Maron.

Mary: Yes, oh I know. Believe me, I’m aware. Okay, so I have one last question for you, before we wrap up.

Sachi: Sure.

Mary: We’ve talked about some heavy stuff on this episode. You are a known crier.

Sachi: Oh yes, very much so.

Mary: And I’m not breaking any—I’m not, you know, telling any secrets here. You had a show called Weep, the Weep Show.

Sachi: Weep Show.

Mary: Mm-hmm, on Seriously TV.

Sachi: And my Twitter bio is “Cats, comedy, crying uncontrollably.”

Mary: Yes. Do you cry on your cats?

Sachi: Oh yes. And Corn was the best cat to cry on! Corn and I used to watch This Is Us every week. This Is Us is like a great show to cry to. And I will say, if you have lost a pet, one of the first things we did when we lost our pet is, Alyssa Mastromonaco, another famous cat person—

Mary: Yeah, I read her book.

Sachi: Oh, amazing. So one of her last chapters is about losing her cat.

Mary: I skipped that chapter, because I couldn’t handle it.

Sachi: No, you have to. It is one of the most moving things, like I have never related so hard. Because I do think when you lose a cat, more than losing a dog, you don’t feel like you can tell people, because it seems silly to most people. There’s so much cat hate in the world. There are so many people who think a cat is like, who cares? Cats don’t care about you. Like my cat cared so much about me, and Alyssa Mastromonaco’s cat cared so much about her, and she wrote about it in such a wonderful, poignant way. So I read this chapter aloud to my husband after we lost our cat, sobbing. I do recommend it. I really do.

Mary: I’m not a crier. The one thing that does upset me is cats dying. That’s probably it. That’s like the only thing, really. Otherwise I’m pretty stoic.

Sachi: So yeah, so I cried all the time. I found—Corn always knew when I was upset, would always come to me, sit on me. Her fur made a very good tissue.

Mary: Absorbent.

Sachi: Absorbent. Magoo, not so much. Not so much yet, but I feel like I will train him by crying in front of him constantly.

Mary: [Laughter.]

Sachi: Yeah, no, I have cried a lot in front of my cats, and I find that they’re used to it. I mean, at this point with—as with my husband, I feel like our whole household has a grudging acceptance of the fact that I cry almost once a week.

Mary: Well, Sachi, thank you for taking a break from crying and coming here to talk about cats with me.

Sachi: I’m proud of myself for not crying during it.

Mary: We have a few shout-outs today. If you’d like me to shout out your cat on this show, send me an email: shouts@letstalkaboutcats.com. Give me your cat’s name, location, any special message you’d like included. Today we’re saying hello to Cassie in Maine. Always love to hear from cats in Maine, that’s where I’m from. Cassie, I hope you are staying warm, I know it’s getting cold and there’s some snow up there.

[UPBEAT, SLIGHTLY FRANTIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC: Let’s talk about cats! Let’s talk about cats!]

Mary: Before we go, Sachi, where can people find you and find out the latest about what you’re up to?

Sachi: So I have a website, SachiEzura.com, and I’m @misstrionics on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. If you want to see a video of my cat suckling at a pillow—

Mary: Yes! Send it to us, absolutely. Yes, yes! We’ll put it all on letstalkaboutcats.com, which is our website. And we’re on social media, ltacpod on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook. My name is Mary Phillips-Sandy. My cat’s name is Grendel. Our producer, the unsinkable Lizzie Jacobs. Our theme song is by Poingly, with additional music by the English Muffins. And our show logo is by Julia Emiliani. Thank you all so much for listening, and we’ll be back next week to talk more about cats. Bye!